There was a time when I really, truly thought that I might be the only person unable to stop.
I had read every book, been to therapy, had a spiritual practice and just. couldn’t. stop.
I’ve woken up in the middle of the night to binge.
I’ve ruined vacations because I was off my routine and couldn’t stop bingeing.
I’ve eaten “perfectly” all day only to find myself drowning in an all-night binge fest.
I’ve gone to multiple restaurants in the span of a couple of hours just so nobody would know how much I was eating.
I KNOW what it’s like to live a life where there was nothing that I wanted more than to be able to stop stuffing myself to the point of sickness.
I also know what it’s like to be free and it sometimes still feels like a miracle.
Here’s what had the biggest impact:
1. Having “FREEDOM” as my #1 intention. With all the books I read, programs I took, and therapy I paid for – I began to only adopt the guidelines that truly left ME feeling FREE and let go of the rest.
2. Letting go of ALL dietary restrictions. Having NO rules about how much, what, or when to eat. And allowing myself to eat PLENTY.
3. Accepting my body and shifting my focus away from weight loss. This. was.so.key. None of this would be possible if I still had a desperate need to lose weight.
4. Not fighting the urges to binge. Rather, I just got really curious about them! Whenever the urge came up, I decided to go into the binge consciously. This was incredibly difficult because so much of binge eating is about tuning out. But I developed a habit of staying awake and slowing down. From there I could ask myself questions, really explore what I was feeling, and actually ENJOY the huge amounts of food I was eating rather that rushing through in a hurried frenzy.
With time and intention, it really did fall away and I believe it’s possible for anyone.
That being said, we all need to find our own path!
For those who have struggled with binge eating: what have you found most helpful on your healing journey?